Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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