what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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shut up elliot

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Dylan is a person

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Diarrhea

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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