Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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