I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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