A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

thumb_up thumb_down

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

my gramma died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops