How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Generally one, but as the situation varies so does the number.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Testicles.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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your social life.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Someone told me about this website.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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