Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

Your Mother

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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