What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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Catholicism.

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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