Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Women's rights.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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diarrhea.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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