What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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eh

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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