Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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