Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the christian says "if you don't believe in god you will go to hell." the atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." they agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,295

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is not fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Double-whammy

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I will create more jobs for americans

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

thumb_up thumb_down -37

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops