I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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This is not a joke.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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