roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

ME NAME IS JEFF

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...