You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If pro- is the opposite of con-, what is the opposite of progress? regress

thumb_up thumb_down +218

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

tim has no humor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

test test

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops