Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

what do you call gingers ugly.

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

Hi

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...