Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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so how about that irline food

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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An English man walks into a pub.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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