A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is not funny Bad jokes!????

thumb_up thumb_down -9

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops