What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops