I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops