What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. Seeing a black pilot is not alarming. If their middle-eastern, however, you have more of a problem.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Im cute hehehee

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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