What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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