If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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whats black and white? a zebra

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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