A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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