What's worse than failing your english test? Contracting HIV

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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A black man comes home from work.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Three minorities walk into a bar and are treated poorly

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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