Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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