What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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