Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Membean

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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