What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

thumb_up thumb_down -16

their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops