Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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