what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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