If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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brett is a dick

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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