What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +33

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

brett is a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i cant STAND cripple jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops