An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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