Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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your a towel.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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