when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +166

only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops