How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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