What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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9

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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You know what's a joke? Something Funny

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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why are balck people black because they are

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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69

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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