Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Cleveland winning something

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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