A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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