A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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no

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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