A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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