Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

Guess what? Bananas

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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