Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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School

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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