Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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