What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops