How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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gay people

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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69

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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I am Skaldak!

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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