A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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69

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Indeed.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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