Hi, my name is Jake.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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