what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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