Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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