Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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