knock knock. who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

sucks Syntax...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops