What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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